


Making Incorrect Quotes into Incorrect Scenes

by itsmultifandommadness



Category: 1917 (Movie 2019)
Genre: Chaos, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:08:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29617587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmultifandommadness/pseuds/itsmultifandommadness
Summary: Basically on my Tumblr I have some 1917 incorrect quotes and I decided to make them into scenes; they're still short though. I kid myself that my brain can withstand long periods of doing one thing.
Relationships: Tom Blake/William Schofield
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Puppies are cute and you know it

As Will Schofield sat on the sofa, half watching an episode of Game of Thrones and stuffing crisps into his mouth, the door to his and Tom’s flat slammed. His boyfriend had gone to restock on what Will called ‘fruit and vegetables’ and Tom called ‘vitamin propaganda’ from the Co-op in the pouring rain; most likely without a coat. He’d been gone quite a while, 20 odd minutes, and Will was feeling slightly guilty about sending him out. But ~~vitamin propaganda~~ food was the top priority.

“Hey!” he called, receiving a bedraggled response as he got up from the comfy cushions and walked round to find his darker-haired partner holding a massive cardboard box that was definitely not from the Co-op or their flat.

So, this was going to be something.

Also, regrettably, there was no shopping bag and/or food anywhere near the dripping man. Said dripping man was now kicking off his vans whilst trying to stably place the box on the kitchen table, but this wasn’t going too well. “Let me take that.” He chuckled, grabbing the box and setting it gently on the counter.

“Thanks,” Tom breathed after he had removed his outer layers, leaving just a yellow t-shirt tucked into ripped jeans, “it was absolutely chucking it down.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

“Oi, you!” Tom tried to give Will a hug and get him wet, but Will stepped back and retreated behind the sofa. “Very noble of you Scho, I can tell you’d be a real fighter.”

“Tactical retreat perfectly planned to confuse the enemy.” They both laughed for a moment at how utterly rubbish fighters they would both be. Both were terrified of spiders and on more than one occasion one of their friends had had to be called over to dispose of one.

Tom came over and grabbed Will’s hand, tugging him towards the cardboard box, “Come and help me with this, then.”

“What exactly is this?”

The younger man froze. “Well… umm…” Will raised an eyebrow, one of his favourite skills, “what would you say if… I brought home 4 puppies?” The last part was mumbled so the blonde couldn’t hear it.

“Come again?”

“I mean, hypothetically if I was to find 4 puppies in a box on a really rainy night- and I mean absolutely chucking-” At that moment a small yap came from the box.

Will’s eyes widened as he connected the dots. “Tom, what’s in the box?” Never before had his boyfriend looked so sheepish, and he’d done some woolly things, “Tom?”

“I think you know.”

In unison, they walked over to the box and opened the half-deteriorated top. Inside were 4 puppies, all curled up together in a sleepy ball of brown and white fur, one began yapping softly and the humans in the room let out a silent gasp. The puppies barely looked old enough to walk, let alone be separated from their mother. “Where- where did you find them?”

This seemed to wake both men up and Tom turned frantically to his boyfriend, “They were just by the road on the way to the shops, and I didn’t notice them until one cried as I went by, and they were all alone in the cold. And I don’t think anyone was coming back for them, and they were so small, and I couldn’t leave them all alone out there in the rain without their mum, and-”

The taller man hugged him, cutting off the rambling and getting his jumper soaking but it didn’t matter, “It’s okay, we’ll have to make them warm and give them food tonight. Tomorrow we can go to Lauri at the RSPCA and find them a place to go.” He leaned down and gave his boyfriend a gentle kiss.

The puppies, oblivious to this, began to wake and start yapping for food. Their tiny paws shuffled as they tried to stand up on the side of the box; it was an adorable sight and Will had to fight the urge to melt on the spot (wicked witch style). “Ok, so, I’ll start rubbing them off- god knows how long they’ve been out there- and you google what food they need and get it ready.” Tom saluted jokingly and ran off to their bedroom to find their laptop.

He poked his head back around the door, “Love you, Will!”

“Love you too!”

A beat.

“Does this mean we can keep them?”


	2. HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROTHER?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe loses Tom at the supermarket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually laughed so much imagining this and projected all my older sibling knowledge onto Joe. This isn't a shippy fic, I suppose you can see Joe x Leslie and/or Tom x Will if you want, you could probably see whatever you want tbh.

"Tom, can you grab the shopping list from the car?"

"What list?"

"Don't tell me you forgot it ag-"

"Kidding!"

The Blake brothers had driven to Lidl to get supplies for Sunday lunch for their mum, usually, they'd just go down to the off-license but this list made it seem like Mrs. Blake was cooking for 10 people. This'd last them a few days, even Myrtle could have seconds. As they walked in Tom grabbed a trolley and used it as a scooter until he almost bashed into the welcome sign and Joe had to take over. "It's a shit trolley," he grumbled.

"You're just pissed you can't use it as your personal Rolls Royce, besides, all trolleys are shit," Joe countered, the epitome of a sympathetic but knowledgable older sibling, "right, what's first on the list?" Tom pulled it out from his jeans, somehow he had managed to crumple it already, and pointed towards the vegetable section. They went over there and began putting the required food in the cold metal trolley, as the younger Blake put in some broccoli he sighed,

"Ugh, vitamin propaganda!"

"For the last time! It's. Not. Called. Vitamin. Propaganda." Tom laughed, he had called fruit and veg that for years and it drove everyone up the wall, particularly Will who threatened to whack him every time he did it; disappointingly he usually didn't follow through. Tom knew it annoyed them and probably did it just for that purpose. Younger siblings. They could get away with murder.

They made their way around the aisle and into the tinned section, Tom relayed back and forth between sections, grabbing the things they needed whilst Joe expertly pushed the trolley along. It was a well-learned skill, pushing slow enough for his brother to throw all the things they needed in before he reached the end of the aisle but fast enough that other people could get to the food they wanted without having to wait for him to move. 

"Joe I can't find the pesto."

"Are you sure it's not hiding behind something else?"

"Yeah, I checked everywhere."

"I'll check, you still haven't found your phone from wherever you put it last night, now hold onto the trolley," He scanned the entirety of both shelves, looked behind everything, checked the corners of both aisles just in case there was some there. Nothing. He returned back to Tom who had a hopeful look but he shook his head and said, "couldn't find it."

This was troubling. Pesto was an absolute requirement for the entire Blake household. They practically ran on pesto pasta and garlic bread.

"Right, give me the list, I'll go and get the rest and you ask someone at the checkout."

"What!" the younger whined, "why can't I go and get the rest? You're always going on about how mature you are, you go and ask someone. I don't want to go and _talk_ to someone." he pouted in that special way he used to get anything he wanted and- bloody hell it was working. Damn you, Thomas Blake!

"Fine, but you better be quick." Joe walked off, leaving his sibling to scout out the rest of the extensive list. He reached a checkout that actually had someone in it, they had a leather jacket over the uniform which probably wasn't allowed but it wasn't like anyone was checking. As he drew closer he saw it was,

"Leslie?"

"Joe! You alright?" Leslie had a job? An actual job? At Lidl?

"Yeah, what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too Joseph. Turns out, life is expensive as fuck, and I need the cash to get better equipment." Joe snorted, musical equipment cost a bit more than your average pocket money, he knew from trying to get Leslie a birthday present. But Leslie's music was pretty good so hopefully, he'd make money off that. And as much as he wanted to chat and make some quips about the uniform getting pesto was the number one priority. 

"You're right there, I need some pesto but there isn't any on the shelf, you know where I could get some?" The dark-eyed man nodded and casually typed something into his computer,

"Alright, you wait here and try not to look too awkward whilst I go get some," Joe rolled his eyes and tried not to look too suspicious; which was impossible to do when standing alone by a checkout. A few minutes later the leather jacket-clad man returned and handed him the jar, "thanks."

"'S ok, your mum's pesto pasta is legendary, I wouldn't be evil enough to deprive poor you of that," he smirked, Mrs. Blake's food was always amazing, everyone knew that.,

"See you round!" Joe walked away to find his brother. He never went to the checkout, so had probably stopped by the bakery and was still looking at the cakes. That had happened twice this month already, yes they were nice cakes but it was ridiculous how long Tom would spend looking at them if he could. However, when Joe reached the bakery his brother was nowhere to be seen, "hmm."

Next, he wandered down the alcohol aisle, no sign of his brother. Then was the freezer section. Still no brother. Methodically, he went down every aisle in the shop, he even dared to go into the toilets and call for Tom- it was a bad decision that he would probably never recover from. This was starting to get annoying. Again he speeded through the whole shop but there was no sign of a big idiot with a faulty trolley. Sighing he went back to Leslie, who was not-so-discreetly reading a book below the counter, "hi."

Leslie put down the book, "Back so soon? I knew you couldn't resist my pretty face."

"Ha ha, I've lost Tom, you haven't seen him come through here have you?"

"You lost your brother? Tom? In Lidl?"

"Yes, that's the one, now have you seen him?"

"Sorry, can't say I have," at this point Leslie's face lit up with a wicked grin, "you know what this means. We're going to have to do an _announcement._ " This was clearly the event of the day for him, but an announcement? Like they did for little kids who couldn't find their mums, the really loud and annoying ones that everyone could hear- oh. This was beginning to seem like a good idea. It would certainly lower Tom's ego for a bit; at least a day. That, Joe could get behind, a wicked smile began to grow on his face as well,

"How about we customise it a little- so he knows it me."

"Brilliant idea, how about you do the honours?" he brought out a small microphone and pushed it towards Joe like a gang leader making a deal with the police in a film. Leslie also took out his phone and began filming. Joe cleared his throat, this was going to be good.

He pressed the button and the special ringtone sounded out, "Has anyone seen my brother? His name is Tom Blake, he's below average height, has blue eyes and brown hair, is clearly gay but we haven't had the talk yet," beside him Leslie was cracking up, "if he is found, please return him to the checkout." The announcement ended and both men were gasping for breath.

"Oh god... that's... worth... getting fired... for!" panted Leslie, whose phone was barely stable, Joe was almost crying with laughter, and when Tom turned up a moment later looking very disgruntled and escorted by... an old lady! She was holding his arm as if she'd dragged him across the shop. This set both Joe and Leslie off again, they were howling with laughter, and Tom was looking extremely grumpy and with his arms crossed,

"I believe this young man belongs to you, take care of your brother next time," said the old lady, pushing Tom towards the checkout, "have a nice day and I hope you find a nice man to make dinner for." And with that she walked away, basket swinging steadily. 

"Thank you, madam!" Joe managed to call after, "we'll make sure he does! Les, please tell me got that on camera." 

The other man nodded, too busy cackling for words. The laughing carried on for at least five minutes and they got a few looks from customers but it was too funny for them to care. They were never going to stop talking about this, by tomorrow all their mates would know about the exciting announcement in Lidl. When the tears eventually dried and Joe and Leslie could look at Tom and each other without bursting back into laughter, Tom crossed his arms and grumbled darkly,

"I hate you both."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was as funny as I imagined, if I had the power to do this to one of my brothers I would. No hesitation.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Kudos and comments appreciated! Tumblr is https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/itsmultifandommadness for more 1917 content!


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